PB: Deadline Missed; Recall Palmetto Bay reined in; NPOs released – schools, churches, day care facilities screwed

by SDM

NPOs violate the seven-day rule

Today is Tuesday, September 25, 2012 and the meeting on these ordinances will be held on October 1, 2012. The only way these documents were published seven-days before the hearing is if today is counted.

Yet, the ordinances were not posted on the website until nearly close of business today. (SDM checked the metadata and the documents were created on 9/25/12 at 3:43:58 pm.) The hearing will be held at approximately 7:00 p.m. on October 1, 2012. That means these documents were published – at the earliest – just over six days and three hours before the meeting.

The seven-day states the following:

If a councilmember asserts a violation of the seven-day rule, then the item may not be voted upon until the next regularly scheduled meeting or at a special meeting of the council. Sec. 2-47(c), VPB Code of Ordinances.

SDM Says: Councilman Fiore should assert a violation of the seven-day rule because the NPOs clearly were not posted timely. Doing so keeps them from being adopted before the election. Time for some hardball.

Village to Recall Palmetto Bay: You Can’t Advertise Here!

Palmetto Bay will take up on first reading an ordinance establishing a policy on permissible advertising at village events. SDM thinks the Three Amigos should name the ordinance the “No Way Recall Palmetto Bay” ordinance.

For those who may not know the story, Recall Palmetto Bay attempted to purchase a sponsorship of the Mayor’s elitist ten-year anniversary celebration.

(The Mayor limited attendance to the first 250 suckers who would dress up in monkey suits and pay $50 to enjoy her company for a long, long evening. SDM hears the village only sold about 190 tickets.)

Well, when the village’s mouthpiece – SDM calls him Captain Kreepy – got wind of this affront, he barred Recall Palmetto Bay from purchasing the sponsorship. Recall Palmetto Bay went to court, landed on the front page of the Miami Herald Local Section, and eventually settled in exchange for the right to set up a table outside the Mayor’s event.

To avoid such unpleasantness in the future, Palmetto Bay shall now preclude sponsorships by religious or political organizations outright.

SDM Wonders: How can the village attorney permit this policy to go onto the agenda without pointing out its lack of content neutrality? Have you been cowed into silence Mme. Attorney?

SDM Says: The Three Amigos will surely characterize this new policy as a way to protect the village from those pesky, constitutionally protected churches and political organizations – whatever those are. Meanwhile, Recall Palmetto Bay just gets more free advertising. Are you listening JB Harris?

NPOs released – existing churches, schools and day care centers are in trouble

Councilwoman Lindsay’s EIGHT “neighborhood protection” ordinances were finally, at long last published today! SDM can barely manage self-control given all the new targets.

Unfortunately, SDM has bad news for existing non-residential uses (e.g., churches, schools and day care centers) located in residential areas: your properties do not appear to have been grandfathered, meaning you will be required to meet the new standards if your property is destroyed by a hurricane or fire.

SDM suggests you go out and hire a lawyer to confirm SDM’s reading and then show up in force at the meeting. This is no joke.

Also still alive in the NPOs are the ridiculous buffers and landscaping requirements. One puzzling example: one of the proposed ordinances states that “no motorized vehicles” are permitted in the buffer.

SDM Wonders: Does this mean a property owner can’t cut the grass using a riding mower?

There appears to be some new stuff in the ordinances, too. For example, Councilwoman Lindsay places severe limits on the number of students that may be served on any given site. The village is even seeking to regulate temporary child care in shopping centers. Don’t ask SDM who is being targeted here.

SDM will give these ordinances a closer review as we get closer to the meeting. But given their potential to damage so many properties, let’s all hope Councilman Fiore slows down this runaway train.

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