PB: Super secret draft of the Mayor’s State of the Village speech leaked to SDM
Welcome to the State of the Village address. Before I begin my remarks, let me acknowledge our local hospital and sponsor of the lovely cucumber sandwiches and coffee we enjoyed a few minutes ago. As you may know, I was instrumental in making sure their facility on 144th street was not impacted by our neighborhood protection scheme.
Next, I’d like to recognize our other sponsor who provided the food today. I especially want to thank them for not locating their brand new store in Palmetto Bay – they must have heard we would oppose it! Thank you Fresh Market for choosing unincorporated Miami-Dade for your newest location.
Now, let’s talk about all of my accomplishments as your Mayor:
- I successfully proposed an expansion at Thalatta Estate Park to create a wedding venue. We spent a bunch of money on a design, and then I voted along with my colleagues to abandon the idea.
- I successfully proposed a parking garage to be built next to village hall. Again, we spent money and staff time on feasibility study and I voted to abandon that idea, too.
- I supported the filing of an appeal in the Palmer Trinity School litigation. Then, the court ruled against us so we all voted to grant Palmer the number of students they should have gotten in the first place.
- I successfully contacted the Florida Department of Transportation after it removed a historic sign with all the logos of our local service clubs. The sign has yet to be replaced thanks to my efforts.
- I helped draft and was instrumental along with Vice Mayor Pariser in passing a neighborhood protection ordinance, which moved sections of the code from one area to another. Taken together, the NPOs don’t do much, which is the theme of my administration.
- I have achieved almost perfect alienation from our local business community and am no longer recognized at Palmetto Bay Business Association meetings because of my hostility toward commercial interests.
- I have successfully drained nearly $10 million from village reserves since becoming your Mayor. Who will dare say we can’t get the money out the door now?
Together, we have achieved something remarkable here in Palmetto Bay. Under my leadership, and the support I receive from Vice Mayor Brian Pariser and Councilwoman Joan Lindsay, we have made the village significantly less friendly to churches and schools. We have spent down our reserves in the middle of the worst recession in the history of the United States. And, as a bonus, we successfully introduced a new low in political discourse never before seen in this village.
I can’t wait to see what we do in my last two years.
Good night and good luck.