PB: SDM’s Campaign Kickoff Meeting
by SDM
SDM was ready to blog on the upcoming Palmetto Bay council meeting, but that juicy topic will have to wait because Mayor Stanczyk and Councilwoman Lindsay are at it again. And it got SDM to thinking…
SDM: Thank you all for coming to my campaign meeting. We have decided to run for Mayor of Palmetto Bay!
Campaign Consultant (CC): It’s only you and me here, SDM.
SDM: SDM likes to think of ourselves in the plural…like the Queen of England.
CC: Whatever, you’re the client. Now, let’s get on to the key issue…
SDM: Yes, the key issue: SDM needs more publicity! Our opposition (growling), Mayor Shelley Stanczyk, is getting it all and SDM will not stand for it a moment longer.
CC: Publicity? That’s not the key issue here. The critical matter…
SDM: The critical matter is that SDM needs to have our mug plastered all over the place so the village people – rather the village people who vote – will vote for SDM and not for that…er…other person. So, here is my, er… our idea: SDM will publish in the widely read Miami Herald Neighbors…
CC: Widely read?
SDM: Stop interrupting us or we will have you tossed from the Chamber. SDM will publish in the very widely read Miami Herald Neighbors a picture of SDM standing between Councilwoman Joan Lindsay and Mayor Shelley Stanczyk! When the village people see this picture, they will say: Wow, SDM knows people who are famous and important! The village people will transfer the importance of these two elected officials onto SDM and – voila – SDM will be famous, too! It’s so easy. Let’s make this happen.
CC: Where do I start? First, the idea that fame transfers from one person to another just because of a photo-op is ridiculous SDM. Second, and more importantly…
SDM: Ridiculous?!? Then why would Amiga One and Amiga Two go to Palmer Trinity School and have their photos taken with Martin Luther King III, hmmmm??? Nobody even noticed how hypocritical they were being, especially after interfering with that poor school for over five years. It seems to be working for them, isn’t it? Maybe SDM should hire their PR flack and get rid of you.
CC: Now, now SDM, let’s not be hasty. Maybe you are right…er, I mean, of course, you are right! Fame does wash off, even if the act of getting oneself near the famous person is totally and absurdly hypocritical. But…
SDM: But what?
CC: How do we get a picture of you and the Amigas? I mean, have you ever read your blog?
SDM: Pish posh, they don’t know who we are. Besides, they will be running for re-election soon and we will just give them a fat contribution of $20 each. Politicians love money and campaign contributions, too.
CC: Twenty dollars…er, of course SDM, $20 would be an excellent and generous contribution and certainly not too much given the quality of their leadership.
SDM: Precisely! Now, you’re catching on. It’s all settled then… What now?
CC: SDM, you’re anonymous.
SDM: And???
CC: How can you be in a picture if you’re anonymous?
SDM: Must we think of everything? The answer is really very simple, we will be represented in the photo by a mannequin.
CC: A mannequin?
SDM: Yes! Like the ones in Macy’s window. You will take the mannequin to the photo-op and any other campaign event and the mannequin will be SDM’s earthly body for that purpose. Simple.
CC: Uhhh…but the mannequin can’t talk or respond to questions. What if it gets elected?
SDM: If it gets elected? You really are dense, you know that? Do you think the SDM mannequin would be the first mindless body seated on the Palmetto Bay council? Ever heard of Shelley Stanczyk, Brian Pariser or the Marathon Man?
CC: But…but how will it legislate, make motions and vote and such?
SDM: Oh for the love of Pete! SDM will talk through a speaker installed in the mannequin’s mouth, just like Lindsay and the Mayor. Don’t you worry, SDM has thought of everything.
*Author’s note: Any resemblance of the characters in this scene to any living person is merely dumb luck and should be ignored normal persons.
Do you SDM REALLY want to put yourself in the same photo or game as these numbnuts???? Be careful what you pray for, I wish you well and will contribute to your campaign….happy campaigning…..it is not fun….
I see that Mayor Stanczyk has started her campaign. She calls it a town hall meeting. That is her form of transparency, We see right through her BS. The February event is no more a legitimate town hall meeting than (thankfully former) vice mayor Parier’s “crime watch” town hall meeting. Stancyzk obviously thinks we all are easily fooled.
You mean former Pariser’s town hall meeting held on the eve of an election and promoted through Palmetto Bay media was not a sincere town hall meeting? (<– sarcasm) Said by everyone who realizes that we have been played by CCOCI slate of candidates.
Where can I donate to the SDM for mayor campaign! An anonymous mayor who understands the issues would be a huge improvement over a self-indulgent ego-maniac who is the political equivalent to a bull in a china shop. Emphasis on bull.
SDM I encourage you to go into script writing. Perhaps there’s a TV show or movie in your future. Drawing from the happenings of the Two Amigas could revive the theater of the absurd, or the terminally demented. I still cannot stop gagging over their loping onto Palmer’s grounds like two simians dropped in from Planet of the Apes to elbow there way into a photo op with a man who is a moral giant compared to their fly-speck existence.
It is unfortunate SDM. You have talent, but I think that the script writes itself. Shelley’s antics would be a great reality show. Think about it. “the Simpsons” meets “Married with Children.” Wait, isn;t this reality show already on cable? I think it is called “Here comes (Mayor) Honey Boo Boo”!
I think that both sides on this should get totegher on camera and confront the issues at hand diplomatically. I have never seen such divisiveness and it is appalling frankly. I have personally been lied to by the Mayor regarding one of these people. This Chicago style politics has got to stop. People from other cities are laughing at us, and you may say you don’t care what they think, but it does reflect on this city as a nasty divisive group, and will hurt us in the long run. Running lies all over town about people will come back to bite you in the ass sooner or later. Currenlty, I am embarrassed to say that I live here. I know the potential of this city and this type of politics is ruining it. So, everyone needs to put their egos in check and hash it out by telling the truth and not spreading lies around. This is not the Federal Government for God’s sake so grow up so we can move this beautiful place forward.