PB: What’s Up With The Noise Ordinance?

by SDM

Just a few short months have passed since Palmetto Bay modified its land development code and already one of its major provisions is being revisited by the village council. The council COW agenda for February 20th contains the following orphaned item: “Discussion regarding revising Division 30-60 “General Regulations”; revising 30-60.29, relating to noise standards.”

SDM calls it an orphan because no sponsor is named as having put the item on the agenda. Customarily, some poor soul identifies himself or herself as the cogitator behind the great ideas to be considered by the august body, but in this instance nobody stepped up to the plate. This fact got SDM to wondering…is

  •  there is a ghost at village hall who accesses the Clerk’s computer late at night and randomly inserts controversial items into normally placid agendas?

Spirit 1: The council meetings have been entirely too subdued lately. We haven’t seen a fistfight in more than a week!

Spirit 2: Yes, but the noise ordinance just passed in November and the council wouldn’t even second an item on the same subject at the last meeting.

Spirit 1: It matters not [spirits like to speak like this]. The new law keeps those pesky children quiet at the parks and we want not them to make restless our sleep. [See? SDM told you they like to talk funny.]

Spirit 2: Then why are you putting the item on the agenda if it no one is talking about changing it? Why not let sleeping dogs and spirits lie?

Spirit 1: Because I am HAUNTING this unhappy place! Strife and controversy are what we seek! Plus, it will be amusing to see the Mayor try to explain how this item got on the agenda in the first place. Ha ha ha haaaaaa!

SDM doesn’t need any spirit to tell us why the item is an orphan on the agenda. The reason is clear and obvious: the rule is not working so it must be changed, but no living soul on the council has the courage to propose a fix. And, if the council were to allow screaming and laughing children to break the sound barrier at village parks, why shouldn’t they be permitted to do so at private venues, like…for instance, at Palmer Trinity School or at a church function?

SDM Says: Just because one or two curmudgeons on the council demanded that the rest of us shut up doesn’t mean we should do so. Maybe some decibels need to be exceeded in the village chambers on this issue.

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