Palmetto Bay Chutzpa Award

by SDM

The Palmetto Bay COW meeting last week reminded SDM of an old joke Ronald Reagan used to tell about the twin boys that had developed extreme personalities – one was a total pessimist, the other a total optimist – so their parents took them to a psychiatrist:

First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. ‘What’s the matter?’ the psychiatrist asked, baffled. ‘Don’t you want to play with any of the toys?’ ‘Yes,’ the little boy bawled, ‘but if I did I’d only break them.’

Next the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist emitted just the yelp of delight the psychiatrist had been hoping to hear from his brother the pessimist. The boy clambered to the top of the pile, dropped to his knees, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop of the nasty stuff with his bare hands. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ the psychiatrist asked, just as baffled by the optimist as he had been by the pessimist. ‘With all this manure,’ the little boy replied, beaming, ‘there must be a pony in here somewhere!’

Well, SDM’s personalities combine both extremes so we did find a pony in a meeting loaded to the ceiling with the nasty stuff, which leads us to announce this week’s Chutzpa Award winner – Jerry Templer!

Mr. Templer is a regular at the council meetings because his wife, Joan Lindsay, sits on the dais – or, maybe because he just needs something to occupy his time. If one watches a few council meetings, one will notice Mr. Templer leap to his feet to impart various nuggets of wisdom, which usually sound very much like the train of thought espoused by his lovely wife.

Last week’s COW meeting was no different. Templer got up at 51:14 to oppose the removal of the skate park from the Palmetto Bay Park master plan. His comments reiterated Ms. Lindsay’s suggestion that the council staff poll the neighbors causing SDM to wonder: If the staff actually polls the neighbors, who gets credit for the idea at Casa de Lindsay?

Mr. Templer also made sure to point out that he didn’t want to see soccer fields at Palmetto Bay park and that the existing green space should be maintained, which inspired his chutzpa: Templer said that to add more ball fields with lights, the village could go ahead and purchase 5 acres to the west of the park!

SDM Codebreaker: There are two five-acre tracts to the west of Palmetto Bay park and both are in private hands. One is owned by Miami Children’s Hospital and the other is owned by Palmetto Bay’s second-most-famous litigant-partner, Shores at Palmetto Bay. The Shores property was set to be developed into a charter school and commercial complex until Mayor Stanczyk and her cronies decided to kill off the project without a proper hearing. Thus, Mr. Templer is echoing a nutty idea – pushed originally by super-gadfly Marsha Matson – where Palmetto Bay shuts down the Shores project and then buys the property at a hefty discount.

Now, some might look at such a scheme as extortion, but what’s a little blackmail when it’s all for the children? Oops, the charter school would also be serving children by giving Palmetto Bay kids and others an alternative to the local school district monopoly. So, SDM guesses the real issue must be that some of the folks living to the east of the park just can’t stand the sound of kids playing softball near their homes.

SDM Says: Congratulations Mr. Templer on your shameless suggestion to use taxpayer money to pander to voters.

SDM Wonders: The only question is whether you are pandering on behalf of the good councilwoman — or for yourself? Hmmm….  Now that would really be chutzpa!

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